Techniques compiled using research from parents, pediatricians, psychologists, gang members, and kids in prison for violent crimes. Parents who were consistent, informative and fair had children who were well behaved. These kids were happier than their peers. They had a very low incidence of drug use, no violent behavior, no suicides. With minor adjustments, these suggestions are also useful in the classroom. It is important that parents agree on behavior control. Two parents who use different systems can do more harm than good.

1. USE CONSEQUENCES, NOT PUNISHMENT. Set up a system in your family or classroom where undesired behavior results in a consequence. Many actions are expected in children at different ages. There should be no consequence for normal childhood behavior. Books are available that describe the things your child will do at each age.

Make a list of the behaviors you wish to stop. Begin with your strongest areas of concern. List a possible consequence for each action. Don't be too strict. The severity of the consequence is less important than the consistent use of it . If the kids are old enough, have a family meeting and discuss the new system. Tell the children that their actions will result in consequences and use the list as a starting point. Allow the kids to participate in deciding the final list. By the end of the meeting you should have reached agreement on the consequence for each action.

Give each child a copy of the list. Don't impose consequences unless they are on the list. This system only works when the child knows the consequence for each action. If a child does something for which you have not imposed a consequence, say: "I am unhappy, you should have known better, I know it will not happen again, but if it should happen again the consequence will be ___________." This is then added to both copies of the list.

Once you have set a consequence for an action, you must impose it every time. Do not threaten. If the rule is broken, the consequence is imposed. The process will not work if you say "If you do that again . . . " or "Do you want . . . " The rules must always be the same, a child should not have to behave differently because you had a bad day nor should they get away with anything because you are having a good day. It may sound strange, but kids love the consistency.

Grades should not be considered for consequences, only negative behavior. A child who is getting to bed on time, doing homework and trying, should be praised even if grades are not high.

2. TIME-OUT AND GROUNDED. An effective tool for controlling behavior in children is "time-out." Once a parent learns the proper use of this technique, it is very effective. What works best is one minute for each year of a child's age, up to twelve. The child must sit in one place and not play for the period of the time-out. The only available entertainment is watching the clock until the seconds of each minute have passed. One minute per year of age was decided by trial and error. It appears to be just enough to accomplish good behavior without resentment for the consequence being too harsh.

Older children can be sent to their room, or any room where they are not allowed to watch TV or play. Time-out for a teenager is similar to being grounded. One day of not being allowed to talk on the phone, go out with their friends, or drive a car, will work until they are old enough to live on their own outside of your house. By then they will be secure and ready for the consequences of the adult world.

Avoid threats. Never say: "If you do that again you will get time-out." This is confusing to a child. Kids are eight to ten years old before they are capable of the adult reasoning behind the "threat, threat, punish" system. They think: "If I did something wrong, why was I not punished?" and: "Why is it okay sometimes and other times I am punished?"

Consequences may be adjusted to fit the individual. What works for most may not work for all. You must be sure the application is one-hundred-percent consistent. Kids need to know where the line is located. They want it black and white. Children have difficulty understanding gray areas.

NEVER THREATEN, SET THE RULES AND STICK TO THEM. IF YOU MAKE A STATEMENT, AND LATER FAIL TO STAND BY IT, KIDS WILL LOSE RESPECT FOR YOU. THEY HATE LIES MORE THAN THEY HATE CONSEQUENCES. LEARN TO SAY ONLY WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN.

3. BE FAIR AND LOVING. When a child commits a wrong for which no consequence has been imposed, some parents say: "They got away with it." Not really, they have been informed that you are not pleased with their actions, and they now know exactly what will happen to them if it is repeated. This is a learning experience for both parent and child. Parents who treat their children in a fair and a consistent manner will be respected.

Allow your child to suggest consequences. Kids believe it will be easy for them to behave in the future. One twelve-year-old, who said he would never use drugs, suggested permanent grounding and no car through high school. They decided on: "no car at age sixteen or loss of the car for six months for drug or gang activity." It became a contract that the child remembered when tempted. He later said he would have used drugs when they were offered, but he was too afraid of losing the car. If your child thinks that mom and/or dad will give in and get the car in spite of a minor infraction, the system will not work.

If you assume that your child will not use drugs or commit violent acts, you are living in a dream world. Why not make a contract with your child about drugs, gangs and violent behavior. The parents of those kids on the news are in shock when their little darling is accused of murder. Do not go into denial when you get a hint of problems.

4. AVOID NEGATIVE COMMENTS. The more impartial you are when imposing the consequence, the better the results will be. You can even take the child's side and say "I'm sorry this happened and you have to be grounded for three days, but the time will pass quickly and I'm sure it won't happen again." Do not make angry statements. Negative comments move the system from loving and fair to nasty and vindictive. Your children will treat you and the rest of society the way they are treated. It is easier to become successful in life if you are positive rather than negative .

5. TALK WITH YOUR KIDS. Some people avoid saying what they need to say because they are afraid of the results. The outcome is always worse than it would have been. One couple failed to discuss their expectations prior to their marriage. Both were afraid such discussions might end the relationship. The result was a divorce after several months of revelations. The marriage would have had a better chance if the issues had been handled during the courtship. It was the way their parents related. Each came from a divorced home. Parents who discuss and solve problems have children who do the same.

Tell your kids the truth. Many rules are for a parent's benefit. "I worry if I do not know where you are. What can we do to solve this problem?" Not: "How dare you not let me know where you are?"

6. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY. Think about these two statements: 1)"If you ever ___________, I will disown you!" 2)"I hope you never___________, but if it should happen and you need me, I will be here for you!"

Parents who use the first statement have the children who fill in the blanks. The child thinks that the parent is lying. It causes resentment, loss of respect, and a need to prove it is a lie by testing. Parents who use the second statement almost never have the problems. The child knows it is true, has no need to test it, and behaves better out of respect for the parents.

7. LYING. Parents tell their children not to lie, but what about parents who lie? How do kids learn to lie? Children want to believe what their mother says is true. How can they if she says things she does not mean just to make her point. Things are said and intended as empty threats. The child resents the threat and the lie attached. Suppose you tell a four-year-old: "I'll pop you if you touch the TV!" Two weeks later they touch it and you say: "I warned you, do that again and I'll pop you!" The child did not forget what you said two weeks ago. He is testing you. If you do not follow through on what you said, the child will lose respect for you and believe it is normal to tell "little" lies. 

8. BE CONSISTENT. No one is in the same mood at all times. In a class on parenting the teacher asked: "How do you decide when to spank your children?" A man raised his hand and said: "They get spanked if I had a bad day at the office." This was told as a joke on The Tonight Show, but it is often true.

Parents think that they are making things easier on themselves if they remain flexible. This is not true. Children do not understand or appreciate being assessed a punishment that was previously unannounced. The same is true if a consequence was announced and not imposed when the rule was broken.

Parents must learn to use the same consequence for the same behavior on good and bad days. If you know you are having a bad day, you must remember that your child's future depends on you being consistent and fair. Children should not have to adjust their behavior to fit their parent's moods.

9. USE A FIXED BEDTIME. This is the strongest weapon in a parent's arsenal. As long as the child is dependent on the parent for support, they can be required to comply with a firm, fixed bedtime. Bedtime should be 8:00 P.M. on school nights and 9:00 P.M. on non school nights. This can be accomplished by using a digital watch or clock with an alarm. Set the alarm for 8:01 P.M., if a child is not in bed before the alarm sounds, the consequence is a 7:30 bedtime tomorrow. A later bedtime can be earned by good behavior. If the bedtime goes to 8:15 and a negative progress report comes home or the child is sleepy in school, the bedtime goes back to 8:00. Bedtime can be quiet time in their room as they grow older.

Once the set bedtime is in place, it can also be used for other purposes. For example: "One minute early bedtime for each toy, video or game not put away."

10. TELL YOUR CHILDREN THEY ARE WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE. I remember my mother telling me when I was young that I was smart and good looking. I grew up believing both, and I have lived my life as if it were true. I never saw the connection until I read in a psychology book that children believe what they are told about themselves. Telling a child: "You are a bad kid!" may cause them to grow up believing it and allow them to feel comfortable doing the things a bad person would do.

The extreme case of this was a mother who repeatedly told her son: "You are just like your father, you are all bad." The father was in prison for murder. As a man that former little boy is proud to be a killer. He is now on death row for multiple murders.

I learned this eleven years ago and started telling people to change the things they say to their kids. One woman told her four-year-old to: "Have a nice day," every morning when she dropped him off at his preschool. After our discussion she started telling him to "be a good boy." He is fifteen now and she wishes she had done the same with her older son who is on probation.

Each parent must decide which positive things they will say to their children. Remember that parents who say negative things pay for it later.

11. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN VALUES. What are Values? We all have some concept of what values are, but I like radio psychologist Dr. Laura Schlesinger's definition: "Values are lighthouses, they keep you from crashing on the rocks!" Many children are taught by their parents that values get in the way of shortcuts. Look at the vast number of people who play the lottery hoping to get rich the easy way. The truth is that those dollars would be a million times more likely to make them rich if they were invested. Think what lesson children learn when they see their parents stealing small items from work, calling in sick when they are not, and abusing drugs, legal or illegal. Tobacco and alcohol are drugs, and kids know it.

HONESTY - Tell the truth! Think about it, you know who is truthful in your group of friends and co-workers, and you usually know when your kids are lying. You should assume they know when you are lying! Parents who tell little lies can be teaching their kids to lie when they think it is necessary. The judgment of a child is not the same as that of an adult. When you catch your child lying, examine yourself.

COURAGE - Have the strength to NOT follow the crowd when the crowd is wrong. People of courage say NO and mean it. They influence others by the strength of their convictions. Would you rather be a leader or a follower? It takes courage to be a good leader. Most people would rather follow a leader who is doing the right thing.

PEACEFULNESS - Learn to compromise rather than argue. It is not necessary to give in, but realize that however wrong the other person might be, they think they are right. No two people have identical circumstances in their past. Everything you have encountered in your life has had an effect on the way you believe today. The same is true of the other party.

SELF-RELIANCE - Be responsible for your own actions. Abandon the need to blame outside forces. It is a commitment to personal excellence in everything you do. Parents must learn to let children make decisions. People who are allowed to make small mistakes as children mature earlier. Their decision making ability enables better life-choices in their teens and twenties.

SELF-DISCIPLINE - Use moderation in eating, speaking (don't curse/yell/lie), and use of alcohol/tobacco/caffeine/etc. Our kids know if we are in control and taking care of ourselves. They learn by our example. Children of parents who smoke are twice as likely to start before graduation from high school. Kids who are not smoking by then will probably never start.

FIDELITY - Be true to your commitments. If you say it, you should mean it. If you change your mind later, you should know in your heart that it is the right thing to do. Children of parents who know how to make and keep commitments are able to identify and associate with other people who do the same. This will help them in all aspects of life.

JUSTICE AND MERCY - Be fair in everything you do. Live by the golden rule. Consider this when setting rules and consequences. Remember what it was like when you were a kid. . . be fair!

LOVE - Teach your children to love themselves and to love others. They will always care what happens to themselves and to others.

* PARENTS, LEARN TO CARE ABOUT YOURSELF. DO NOT MODEL DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR.
* TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT THEY ARE LOVED. THEY WILL CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES.
* CARE ABOUT OTHERS AND TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE SAME. YOU WILL BE HAPPIER.

Parenting is as difficult as any profession. Why would anyone try it without studying it? I did and the results were not good. After I studied it, my life was easier. I now understand why my kids reacted in such strange ways. I was continually doing things that disrupted their security. Why do we not offer classes for parents at every school in the United States? It took years of research to put together this simple information. A few evenings in parenting classes could have saved me a lot of legwork and made the early lives of two great kids a lot easier and happier.

We need to teach parenting to the next generation. It should be the fourth basic. Raising children correctly is much more important to the future of the world than Reading, wRiting or aRithmetic . Write or call your legislators if you agree with either or both suggestions.

Please copy this information and distribute it as widely as possible.
For questions or comments, e-mail to:
kia06@sinceyouask.com

GOODKIDS by C Harrison, ©1995 - 2007, may be linked, copied and/or distributed freely.

From The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) The Nation's Resource Center for Child Protection:

Parents, guardians, and other family members are constantly searching for advice about how to keep children safer. To help, we’ve singled out some common areas of interest regarding precautionary child identification and safety measures.

For more information about these and other safety topics in specific situations, please contact NCMEC at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

Photo Identification (ID)

Families should have current photographs of their children. These photographs can often be obtained free-of-charge or for a nominal fee from a number of sources. The photograph should be a full-face shot in color, and capture the way children really look. Photographs should be taken at least every six months and kept in a safe and readily accessible place.

In addition to the photograph, parents and guardians should also have a written description of their children. The description should include:

• Hair color;
• Eye color;
• Weight;
• Height;
• Date of Birth; and
• Unique physical attributes such as eyeglasses, braces, or piercings.

Dentition

Dental X-rays, professional dental charting, and bite impressions (tooth prints) are all useful in making identifications but will not help to find a missing child. Parents and guardians should update dental charts every 2 years until children are 18. Parents and guardians may also choose to have bite impressions made using Styrofoam®. Only a trained dental professional should take the impression.

Please check with your family dentist to determine if this service is offered. Dentition may last for many years and can withstand elements such as fire. This sample should be stored in a safe and readily accessible place.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA)

DNA is a key element of what families should have on hand for their children’s identification. Like fingerprints and dentition, DNA will not help find a missing child but is used to identify someone. DNA has become the “gold standard” for all identification matters.

NCMEC strongly encourages parents and guardians to take a DNA sample of their children as a precautionary measure in case their children become missing. No one should store DNA except parents and guardians.

Fingerprints

Fingerprints are used for identification. They should be taken by a trained professional and recorded on a paper stock that will be usable for loading in the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s National Crime Information Center, if your child should become missing.

As with all of these methods of identification, fingerprinting can be taken and stored at little or no cost. Retailers, supermarket chains, and other companies often provide opportunities for parents and guardians to have one or more of these identification tools taken for their children. Only parents or guardians should store these items or test results of their children.

Medical Reports

Families should know where their children’s medical records are located. Medical records such as X-rays, permanent scars, blemishes, birthmarks, or broken bones can be helpful in identifying a recovered child. Ask your family doctor if those records can be easily accessed if needed.

Child Safety

Effective child-safety programs are ones children will enjoy, understand, and ultimately help to change children’s behavior. The fundamental idea of prevention education is that children with self-confidence, grounded in safety competence and high self-esteem, are less vulnerable targets for victimization.1 NCMEC offers many resources to assist parents and guardians.

 

 

Teens are communicating more and more via text "instant messaging" and have developed short hand text to save typing time as well as space on small cell phone screens. These acronyms are also used in on-line chat rooms. To monitor their teens online activities, parents need to be able to read and understand this language. Below are 50 acronyms parents may need to know. It is well known that people will "say" things, and use language over the net that they would never say face to face. Remember that teens have always said things just for their shock value and (in their own minds) to appear older. If you see some of these being used, don't jump to conclusions. Be advised some of these definitions are too vulgar to post here.

1. 8 - it refers to oral sex
2. 1337 - it means elite
3. 143 - it means I love you
4. 182 - it means I hate you
5. 459 - it also means I love you
6. 1174 - it means nude club
7. 420 - it refers to marijuana
8. ADR or addy - Address
9. ASL - Age/Sex/Location
10. banana -
11. CD9 - it means Code 9 = parents are around
12. DUM -
13. DUSL - Do You Scream Loud?
14. FB -
15. FMLTWIA -
16. FOL - Fond Of Leather
17. GNOC - Get Naked On Cam (webcam)
18. GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
19. IAYM - I Am Your Master
20. IF/IB -
21. IIT -
22. ILF/MD - I Love Female/Male Dominance
23. IMEZRU - I Am Easy, Are You?
24. IWSN - I Want Sex Now
25. J/O -
26. KFY - Kiss For You
27. kitty -
28. KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
29. LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life
30. MOOS - Member(s) Of the Opposite Sex
31. MOSS or MOTSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex
32. MorF - Male or Female
33. MOS - Mom Over Shoulder
34. MPFB -
35. NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
36. NIFOC - Nude In Front Of Computer
37. NMU - Not Much, You?
38. P911 - Parent Alert
39. PAL - Parents Are Listening
40. PAW - Parents Are Watching
41. PIR - Parent In Room
42. POS - Parent Over Shoulder
43. PRON - Porn
44. Q2C -
45. RU/18 - Are You Over 18?
46. RUH - Are You Horny?
47. S2R - Send To Recieve (pictures)
48. SorG - Straight or Gay
49. TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
50. WYCM - Will You Call Me?
    

To learn more visit NetLingo.com

Parents if you don't know about the need to protect your kids online, read these statistics.

 

 

The internet is a mixed blessing. From any computer, we all have access to a world of knowledge and interesting things. If you have a question, you can most likely find the answer with the click of a mouse. Surfing the world-wide-web is fun and educational, but like in the real world, there's a risk you may encounter the occasional shark which lurks there waiting for the unwary surfer.

Almost all of today's kids have access to the internet. Whether from home, school, public library, internet cafe or a friend's house, your child can (and surely will), get on the internet --unsupervised. So what's a parent to do to protect them, (as much as possible) from being exposed to the "bad" side of the web?

In short, you must educate yourself about the web, about computers, about software and how they all work together. In many cases, kids know more than their parents about this technology and this can be a problem. If you leave it up to them to install the software that you purchased to filter and limit their online surfing, they will know how to circumvent the protection. So at least get enough training to enable you to understand the basics of using a computer and it's software. Pay special attention to learning to use and configure a web browser. Learn how to check a browser's surfing history, and how to view temporary internet files which are stored on your computer every time you (or your child) visits the internet.

No matter what you do, your child will most likely encounter material on the internet which is inappropriate for their age. As a parent, you should discuss these things with your child beforehand so they will know what to do when they happen upon it and will not feel awkward telling you about it. Make it clear to them that you will not be mad it if happens and use it as an opportunity to calmly educate your child about bad things or inappropriate behavior of some people. The key is to ensure that your child knows he/she can tell you something without you getting mad. The goal is to know what your child is doing online, thus letting you take the necessary steps to prevent something even more serious from happening to your child.

Allowing school age children to have a computer with internet access in their bedroom is asking for trouble. It's common I know, but don't do it. When they reach college age they are much better equipped to handle what they find, and what they can do on the internet. Keep the computer in a common area where an adult can monitor their computer use at any time.

Visit these great sites to learn more:

• NetSmartz.org - From The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
• Federal Bureau of Investigation - FBI website has a Parents Guide to internet safety
• i-SAFE.org - Worldwide leader in Internet safety education
• CommonSenseMedia.org - Ttrustworthy information to help manage your kids' media lives
• KidsHealth.org - From the Nemours Foundation (Also in Spanish)
• SafeKids.com - One of the oldest and most enduring sites on this subject

Searching for parental control software? A good place to start are these websites which list and reviews these products. (Some are free to download).

• SafeFamilies.org
• TopTenReviews.com
• HowStuffWorks.com
• ConsumerSearch.com

 

Research indicates that parents play a pivotal role in keeping young people out of gangs. Negative influences within the family- including domestic violence, child abuse, harsh or inconsistent parenting practices, and/or drug/alcohol abuse by family members- cam increase the risk that a youth will join a gang.

Parents can protect their children from gang activity through taking positive actions, such as monitoring their children's activities, fostering close relationships with them, and using positive discipline strategies. However, parents often lack factual information about gangs.

The following information is designed to provide parents with information in order to recognize and prevent gang involvement.

Behaviors Associated with Joining a Gang

The early adolescent years (12-14 years of age) are a crucial time when youths are exposed to gangs and may consider joining a gang. Youths who become involved in gangs will often attempt to hide it from their parents. Graffiti (drawing gang names and symbols) is the most common sign of gang activity. You should check your child's room, furniture, school books, papers and notebooks for gang names, logos, and nicknames. Check their clothing, inside waistbands, necklines, cuffs, and sleeves. Check inside shoes: shoe tongue, sole and sides. If your child has gang information written in these places, then they are associating with gangs. Look for and deal with these warning signs:.

• Unusual interest in one or two particular colors of clothing or a particular logo. Selecting or wearing the same color & style of clothes every day.
  
• Interest in gang-influenced music, videos and movies.
  
• Use and practice of hand signals and body gestures to communicate with friends.
  
• Peculiar drawings or gang symbols on schoolbooks, clothing, notebooks, or even walls.
  
• Skipping school or missing work often. Declining performance, or behavior.
  
• Suspected drug use, such as alcohol, inhalants, and narcotics.
  
• Withdrawal from family and normal family activities.
  
• Staying out late at night; secretive activities, unusual desire for secrecy.
  
• Confrontational behavior, such as talking back, verbal abuse, name calling, and disrespect for parental authority.
  
• Sudden negative opinions about law enforcement or adults in positions of authority (school officials or teachers).
  
• Change in attitude about school, church, or other normal activities or change in behavior at these activities.
  
• Drastic changes in hair or dress style and/or having a group of friends who have the same hair or dress style.
  
• Withdrawal from longtime friends and forming bonds with an entirely new group of friends. Spending time with new friends you don't approve of.
  
• Unexplained body markings, injuries or tattoos.
  
• Unexplained cash or goods, such as clothing or jewelry, or possession of weapons.

For Additional Information about Gangs go to:

• US Department of Justice COPS PROGRAM
• National Youth Gang Center
• PTA The Parent Teacher Association
• Street Gang Style
• Gangs OR Us

If you've ever heard an adult - or anyone else - say that bullying is "just a fact of life" or "no big deal," you're not alone! Too often, people just don't take bullying seriously - or until the sad and sometimes scary stories are revealed.

It happens a lot more than some people think - Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency, while 15-20% report they bully others with some frequency (Melton et al, 1988; Nansel et al, 2001).

It can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. They are also more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights (Nansel et al, 2003; Olweus, 1993).

It scares some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied (Pollack, 1998).

It can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24 (Olweus, 1993).

To learn more go to:

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
www.safeyouth.org
1-866-SAFEYOUTH

Take a Stand. Lend a Hand.Stop Bullying Now!
www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

It's My Life:Bullies
www.pbskidsgo.org/itsmylife/friends/bullies

Netsmartz
www.netsmartz.org/index.htm

Cyberbullying
www.cyberbully.org

i-Safe
www.isafe.org

Bully Police USA
www.bullypolice.org

Advocacy Group For Parents Of Children Affected By Bullying, Inc.
www.agpcabinc.org

SAMHSA Campaign for Parents
www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/15plus/aboutbullying

Could violence be a part of your teen's social life or dating relationships? The answer may surprise you. While we might think that relationship violence is something that could never effect the lives of our children, the truth is that nearly a third of girls surveyed said they know of at least one student at school who has been physically abused by a person that were dating.

What are the warning signs that your daughter is in an abusive relationship?

She apologizes for his behavior and makes excuses for him.

She looses interest in activities that she used to enjoy.

She stops seeing friends and family members and becomes more and more isolated.

When your daughter and boyfriend are together; he calls her names and puts her down in front of other people.

He acts extreamely jealous of others who pay attention to her, especially other guys.

He thinks or tells your daughter that you (her parents) don't like him.

He controls her behavior, checking up on her constantly, calling and texting her, demanding to know who she has been with.

She casually mentions his violent behavior, but laughs it off as a joke.

You see him violently lose his temper, striking or breaking objects.

She often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations she offers don't make sense.

You can download a helpful Parent's Guide and learn more about teen dating violence at http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/

Other helpful websites include:

www.breakthecycle.org
Break the Cycle is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from dating and domestic violence. They provide preventive education, free legal services, advocacy and support for young people between the ages of 12 to 22.

www.childhelpusa.com
The ChildHelpUSA Web site outlines the group's programs and services, supplies hotline numbers and local contacts, and provides information for kids and teens about abuse.

www.childrennow.org
The Children Now Web site provides access to Children Now publications, poll results, policy papers, press materials, action updates on federal and state legislation, and links to other Web sites devoted to children's issues.

http://www.girlsinc.org
The Girls Incorporated Web site provides research, advocacy information and tips on issues surrounding girls and young women.

www.dvalianza.org
The National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence (Alianza) is a group of nationally recognized Latina and Latino advocates, community activists, practitioners, researchers and survivors of domestic violence working together to promote understanding, sustain dialogue, and generate solutions to move toward the elimination of domestic violence affecting Latino communities.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DRUG USE

It is important to keep in mind that if a child shows any of the following symptoms, it does not necessarily mean that he or she is using drugs. The presence of some of these behaviors could be the product of adolescent stress. Others may be symptoms of depression or a host of other problems. Whatever the cause, they may warrant attention, especially if they persist or if they occur in a cluster. A mental health professional or a caring and concerned adult may help a youngster successfully overcome a crisis and develop more effective coping skills, often preventing further problems.

The key is change; it is important to watch for any significant changes in your child's physical appearance, personality, attitude or behavior.

Physical Signs

• Loss of appetite, increase in appetite, any changes in eating habits, unexplained weight loss or gain.
• Slowed or staggering walk; poor physical coordination.
• Inability to sleep, awake at unusual times, unusual laziness.
• Red, watery eyes; pupils larger or smaller than usual; blank stare.
• Cold, sweaty palms; shaking hands.
• Puffy face, blushing or paleness.
• Smell of substance on breath, body or clothes.
• Extreme hyperactivity; excessive talkativeness.
• Runny nose; hacking cough.
• Needle marks on lower arm, leg or bottom of feet.
• Nausea, vomiting or excessive sweating.
• Tremors or shakes of hands, feet or head.
• Irregular heartbeat.
  

Behavioral Signs

• Change in overall attitude/personality with no other identifiable cause.
• Changes in friends; new hang-outs; sudden avoidance of old crowd; doesn't want to talk about new friends; friends are known drug users.
• Change in activities or hobbies.
• Drop in grades at school or performance at work; skips school or is late for school.
• Change in habits at home; loss of interest in family and family activities.
• Difficulty in paying attention; forgetfulness.
• General lack of motivation, energy, self-esteem, "I don't care" attitude.
• Sudden oversensitivity, temper tantrums, or resentful behavior.
• Moodiness, irritability, or nervousness.
• Silliness or giddiness.
• Paranoia
• Excessive need for privacy; unreachable.
• Secretive or suspicious behavior.
• Car accidents.
• Chronic dishonesty.
• Unexplained need for money, stealing money or items.
• Change in personal grooming habits.
• Possession of drug paraphernalia.

Drug Specific Symptoms:

Marijuana: Glassy, red eyes; loud talking and inappropriate laughter followed by sleepiness; a sweet burnt scent; loss of interest, motivation; weight gain or loss.

Alcohol: Clumsiness; difficulty walking; slurred speech; sleepiness; poor judgment; dilated pupils; possession of a false ID card.

Depressants: (including barbiturates and tranquilizers) Seems drunk as if from alcohol but without the associated odor of alcohol; difficulty concentrating; clumsiness; poor judgment; slurred speech; sleepiness; and contracted pupils.

Stimulants: Hyperactivity; euphoria; irritability; anxiety; excessive talking followed by depression or excessive sleeping at odd times; may go long periods of time without eating or sleeping; dilated pupils; weight loss; dry mouth and nose.

Inhalants: (Glues, aerosols, and vapors ) Watery eyes; impaired vision, memory and thought; secretions from the nose or rashes around the nose and mouth; headaches and nausea; appearance of intoxication; drowsiness; poor muscle control; changes in appetite; anxiety; irritability; an unusual number of spray cans in the trash.

Hallucinogens: Dilated pupils; bizarre and irrational behavior including paranoia, aggression, hallucinations; mood swings; detachment from people; absorption with self or other objects, slurred speech; confusion.

Heroin: Needle marks; sleeping at unusual times; sweating; vomiting; coughing and sniffling; twitching; loss of appetite; contracted pupils; no response of pupils to light.

Tobacco/Nicotine: Smell of tobacco; stained fingers or teeth

To learn more visit:

National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) - NIDA's mission is to lead the Nation in bringing the power of science to bear on drug abuse and addiction. Information broken into sections for parents and teachers, students and young adults, medical and health professionals, and researchers.

MedlinePlus - MedlinePlus will direct you to information to help answer health questions. MedlinePlus brings together authoritative information from NLM, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), and other government agencies and health-related organizations. Preformulated MEDLINE searches are included in MedlinePlus and give easy access to medical journal articles. MedlinePlus also has extensive information about drugs, an illustrated medical encyclopedia, interactive patient tutorials, and latest health news.

The American Council for Drug Education - The American Council for Drug Education is a substance abuse prevention and education agency that develops programs and materials based on the most current scientific research on drug use and its impact on society.

 

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More to come